Breaking the Energy Barrier

I want to be writing, but it is so hard for me to get started. I’m scared, I guess, stuffing the lack of freedom I feel to express myself fully. I have not embraced writing on a daily basis in many, many years. Talent but no energy.

I look at my cousins, who are engineers, wilderness guides, mechanics, other successful people, and I know I must have smarts and talent. I don’t doubt I have writing talent, because I know how awesome some of what I’ve written is. But one is not a writer if one does not write. It is small comfort to know that I use most of my energy for surviving, and always have.

I need to do this for myself, though. I need to get something out there, to prove once and for all that I can do it. Proving to other people is one thing; mostly I have to prove it to myself. That doesn’t require snarky wit, although I may do that on occasion. It doesn’t require an interesting life; I can find beauty in tiny things. I often do. Writing requires me to write. That’s all. That’s so huge and terrifying.

If I do nothing else in the next 2 or 3 years, I need to do this. I am making an appointment with myself, daily, to write.